Your newborn sleeps when he is tired — it’s that simple. You can do little to force a new baby to sleep when he doesn’t want to sleep, and you can do little to wake him up when he is sleeping soundly.

Newborn babies have tiny tummies. They grow rap- idly, and their liquid diet digests quickly. While it would be nice to lay your little bundle down at bedtime and not hear from him until morning, this is not a realistic goal for a new baby. Newborns wake to be fed every two to four hours — and sometimes more.

“Through the night”

You may believe that babies should start "sleeping through the night" soon after birth. For a new baby, a five-hour stretch is a full night. This may be a far cry from what you thought "sleeping through the night" meant! It’s often a full year or more until your baby will settle into an all-night, every night sleep pattern.

Sleep Associations

It is natural for a newborn to fall asleep while sucking at the breast, a bottle, or a pacifier. When a baby alwaysfalls asleep this way, he learns to associate sucking with falling asleep. This is the most natural sleep associ- ation a baby can have. However, many parents who are struggling with older babies who cannot fall asleep, or stay asleep, are fight- ing this powerful association. Therefore, if you want your baby to be able to fall asleep without your help, it is essential that you often let your newborn baby suck until he is sleepy, but not totally asleep. When you can, remove the breast, bottle, or pacifier from his mouth, and let him finish falling asleep without it. If you do this often enough, he will learn how to fall asleep without sucking.

Night Feedings

Professionals recommend that a newborn shouldn’t sleep longer than four hours without feeding, and most babies wake more fre- quently than that. The key is to learn when you should pick her up for a feeding and when you can let her go back to sleep on her own.

Here’s a tip: Babies make many sleeping sounds, from grunts to whimpers to cries, and these noises don’t always signal awak- ening. These are sleeping noises, and your baby is not awake dur- ing these episodes. Listen closely. If she is awake and hun- gry, you’ll want to feed her so she’ll go back to sleep easily. But if she’s asleep – let her sleep!

Telling Day from Night

A newborn sleeps 16 to 18 hours per day, distributed into six to seven sleep periods. You can help your baby distinguish between night sleep and day sleep, and thus help him sleep longer periods at night.

Have your baby take naps in a lit room where he can hear the noises of the day. Make night sleep dark and quiet, except for white noise (a background hum). Use a bath, a massage, and paja- mas to signal nighttime sleep.

Newborn Babies and Sleep

Congratulations on the birth of your new baby. This is a glorious time in your life—and a sleepless time too. Newborns have different sleep needs than older ba- bies. This article will help you understand your baby’s de- veloping sleep patterns and will help you create reasonable expectations for sleep.

Choosing Bedtime Music

Many people use music as their baby’s sleeptime sound. If you do, choose bedtime music care- fully. Some music (including jazz and much classical music) is too complex and stimulating for sleep. For music to be soothing to your baby, pick simple, repetitive, predictable music, like traditional lulla- bies. Compositions created es- pecially for putting babies to sleep are great choices. Pick something that you will enjoy lis- tening to night after night, too.

Sounds and White Noise

There are widely available, and very lovely, nature sounds recordings that work nicely for baby-soothing, as well as small sound-generating or white-noise devices and clocks. The sounds on these—raindrops, a bub- bling brook or running water—often are similar to those sounds your baby heard before birth. A ticking clock and a bubbling fish tank also make wonderful white-noise options.

You can find some suitable recordings made especially for babies, or those made for adults to listen to when they want to relax. Whatever you choose, lis- ten to it first and ask yourself: Does this relax me? Would it make me feel sleepy if I listened to it in bed?

If you must put your baby to sleep in a noisy, active house full of people, keeping the sound or music running will help mask baby-waking noises. White noise can also help transition your sleepy baby from a noisy daytime house to which he’s become ac- customed subconsciously to one of absolute nighttime quiet.

Midnight Awakenings

Once your baby is familiar with his calming noise or lullaby music, you can use these to help your baby fall back to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night. Simply soothe him by play- ing the music (very quietly) dur- ing the calming and falling-asleep routine. If he wakes in the night, turn the music on again.

Traveling Sounds

If your baby gets used to his sleep time sounds you can take advan- tage of this and take the music or sounds with you if you will be away from home for naptime or bedtime. The familiarity of these sounds will help your baby sleep in an unfamiliar environment.

Changing Routines

Eventually your baby will rely on this technique less and less to fall and stay asleep. Don’t feel you must rush the process; there is no harm in your child falling asleep to these gentle sounds— even adults can use this idea to successfully solve their own sleep problems. When you are ready to wean your child of sleep-sounds you can help this process along by reducing the volume by a small amount every night until you finally don’t turn the music or sounds on at all.

Babies enjoy these peaceful sounds, and they are just one more piece in the puzzle that helps you to help your baby sleep —gently, without any crying at all.

Gentle Sounds Improve Baby’s Sleep

The environment that your baby enjoyed in the womb was not absolutely quiet. There was a constant symphony of sound. (Remember the whooshing sounds you heard with the Doppler stethoscope?) Due to this prenatal history, white noise or soft music can help babies relax and fall asleep. This is because these sounds create an environment more familiar to your baby than a quiet room. The level and type of noise that disrupts sleep is different for each child. Some children can sleep through an alarm siren, oth- ers are awakened by the slightest noise. No matter what kind of sleeper your child is, white noise or soft music can be helpful in three ways. First, the gentle sound can be effective at soothing a child to sleep. Second, it can filter out noises that jar her awake – sounds from siblings, dishes clinking, television, or a dog barking. Third, it creates a consistent cue for sleep.

Average hours of day and night sleep

Timing and length of naps Timing of naps is important. A late nap will prevent your child from being tired at bedtime. Generally, the best nap times are:

• Two naps: midmorning (9:00 - 11:00) and early afternoon (12:00 - 2:30)

• One nap: early afternoon (12:00 - 2:30); after lunch If your child tends towards short naps, don't assume it's all she needs. Try these tips for better naps:

• Provide a healthy lunch or snack before nap.

• Keep the room dark.

• Play lullabies or white noise during the nap.

• Dress her in comfortable clothes.

• Be sure that discomfort (teething, allergies, etc.) isn't preventing sleep.

Watch for signs of tiredness Tired children fall asleep easily. If you miss the signals they become overtiredand are unable to sleep. Your child may show one or more of these signs that tell you he is tired and ready to nap:

• losing interest in playtime

• becoming whiny or fussy

• losing patience

• having tantrums

• rubbing eyes or yawning

• caressing a lovey or blanket

• asking for a pacifier, bottle or to nurse

• looking glazed or unfocused

• becoming hyperactive

The nap routine

Once you've created a schedule that works with your child's periods of tiredness, follow a sim- ple but specific nap routine. Your child will be comfortable with a pattern to his day. He may predict when naptime approaches and willingly cooperate with you.

Nap routines change

Children's sleep needs change over time. The routine that you set up today won't be the same one you're using a year from now. Be adaptable!

Solving Naptime Problems

Naps are important for your child's health and growth.A nap refreshes a child so that she can maintain her energy for the rest of the day. Studies show that children who nap are more adaptable, have longer attention spans, and are less fussy than those who don't nap.

Does your child needs a nap?

Age, Number of naps, Naptime hours, Night sleep hours*, Total night and nap sleep

Newborns sleep 16 - 18 hours daily, spread over 6 - 7 sleep periods.

3 months 3, 5 - 6 ,10 - 11, 15

6 months 2, 3 - 4, 10 - 11, 14 - 15

9 months 2, 2.5 - 4, 11 - 12, 14

12 months 1 - 2, 2 - 3, 11.5 - 12, 13.5 - 14

18 months 1 - 2, 2 - 3, 11.25 - 12, 13 - 14

2 years 1, 1 - 2.5, 11 - 12, 13 - 13.5

3-4 years 0 - 1, 0 - 1.5, 11 - 11.5, 11 - 13

5-7 years 0 - 1, 0 - 1, 11, 11 - 12

*These averages don't signify unbroken stretches of sleep since night waking is normal.

Nightmares

Children spend more time dreaming than adults do, so they have more dreams—both good and bad. After a nightmare saying “It was just a dream”doesn't ex- plain what they experienced; after all, most kids believe that the tooth fairy and Big Bird are real, too. After a nightmare, offer comfort just as you would for a tangible fear. If your child wakes with a nightmare:

• Stay with your child until she feels relaxed and ready to sleep.

• Be calm and convey that what's happening is normal and that all is well.

• Reassure your child that he's safe and that it's OK to go back to sleep.

Night Terrors

During a night terror your child will wake suddenly and may scream or cry. Her eyes will be open, but she won't be seeing. She may hyperventilate, thrash around, or talk incoherently. She may be sweating and flushed. She may seem scared, but your child is not really frightened, not awake, and not dreaming. She's asleep, and in a zone between sleep cycles. A child having a night terror is unaware of what's happening, and won't remember the episode in the morning. During a night terror you may try to hold your child, but often this will result in his pushing you away or fighting you off. The best response is a gentle pat, along with comforting words or Shhh Shhhsounds. If your child gets out of bed, lead him back. If he's sitting up, guide him to lie back down. Keep an eye on him until he settles back to sleep.

Nighttime Fears It's normal for a child to imagine monsters that generate a fear of the dark. Even if you explain, and even if you assure him that he's safe, he may still be scared. You can reduce his fears when you:

• Teach your child the difference between real and fantasy through discussion and book-reading.

• Find ways to help your child confront and overcome his fears. If dark shadows create suspicious shapes, provide a flashlight to keep at his bedside.

• Leave soothing lullabies playing, or white noises running to fill the quiet.

• Give your child one, two, or a zoo of stuffed animals to sleep with.

• Put a small pet, like a turtle or fish, in your child's room for company.

• Take a stargazing walk, build a campfire, or have a candlelight dinner to make the dark more friendly.

Preventing Sleep Disrupters

Some things have been found to reduce the number or severity of sleep-disturbing episodes. They are all based on good sleep practices and worth a try:

• Follow a calm, peaceful routine the hour before bedtime.

• Maintain the same bed time seven days a week.

• Avoid books and movies that frighten your child.

• Have your child take a daily nap.

• Provide your child with a light snack an hour before bedtime, avoiding spicy food, sugar, soda, or caffeine.

• Have your child use the potty just before she gets in to bed. Is there a time to call a professional?

Always call a professional if you have concerns about your child's sleep.

Nightmares, Night Terrors and Fears

The lack of adequate, restful sleep can affect your child's mood, be- havior, health, memory, and growth. If there is anything standing in the way of a good night's sleep it's important to address the issue and solve the problem. Following is a list of typical sleep disrupters and possible solutions.

# 1 Maintain a consistent bedtime and awaking time. Your child's biological clock has a strong influence on her wakeful- ness and sleepiness. When you establish a set time for bedtime and wake up time you “set” your child's clock so that it functions smoothly.

Aim for an early bedtime. Young children respond best with a bed- timebetween 6:30 and 7:30 P.M. Most children will sleep better and longer when they go to bed early.

# 2 Encourage regular daily naps. Daily naps are important. An ener- getic child can find it difficult to go through the day without a rest break. A nap-less child will often wake up cheerful and become progressively fussier or hyper- alert as the day goes on. Also, the length and qualityof naps affects night sleep—goodnaps equal better night sleep.

# 3 Set your child's biological clock. Take advantage of your child's bi- ology so that he's actually tired when bedtime arrives. Darkness causes an increase in the release of the body's sleep hormone— the biological “stop” button. You can align your child's sleepiness with bedtime by dimming the lights during the hour before bedtime. Exposing your child to morning light is pushing the “go” button in her brain—one that says, “Time to wake up and be active.” So keep your mornings bright!

# 4 Develop a consistent bedtime routine. Routines create security. A consis- tent, peaceful bedtime routine al- lows your child to transition from the motion of the day to the tran- quil state of sleep. An organized routine helps you coordinate the specifics: bath, pa- jamas, tooth-brushing. It helps you to function on auto-pilot at the time when you are most tired and least creative.

# 5 Create a cozy sleep environment. Where your child sleeps can be a key to quality sleep. Make certain the mattress is comfort- able, the blankets are warm, the room temperature is right, pajamas are comfy, and the bedroom is welcoming.

# 6 Provide the right nutrition. Foods can affect energy level and sleepiness. Carbohydrates can have a calming effect on the body, while foods high in protein or sugar generate alertness, particularly when eaten alone. A few ideas for pre-bed snacks are: whole wheat toast and cheese, bagel and peanut butter, oatmeal with bananas, or yogurt and low-sugar granola. Vitamin deficiencies due to un- healthy food choices can affect a child's sleep. Provide your child with a daily assortment of healthy foods.

# 7 Help your child to be healthy and fit. Many children don't get enough daily physical activity. Too much TV watching and a lack of activity prevents good sleep. Children who get ample daily exercise fall asleep more quickly, sleep better, stay asleep longer, and wake up feeling refreshed. Avoid activity in the hour before bedtime though, since exercise is stimulating—they'll be jumping on the bed instead of sleeping in it!

# 8 Teach your child how to relax. Many children get in bed but aren't sure what to do when they get there! It can help to follow a soothing pre-bed routine that creates sleepiness. A good pre-bed ritual is story time. A child who is listening to a parent read a book or tell a tale will tend to lie still and listen. This quiet stillness al- lows him to become sleepy. Work with these eight ideas and you'll see improvements in your child's sleep, and yours too.

Eight Sleep Tips for Every Child The following ideas are of value to almost any sleeper, of any age. These tips can bring improvement not only in your child's sleep, but also in her daytime mood and last, but not least—improvements in your own sleep and outlook as well.

Why move a child from crib to bed?

If a child sleeps well in his crib, don't rush the change. Switching to a bed gives a child freedom and brings new issues for par- ents, such as the yo-yo syndrome or early morning wanderings. The most common reasons to switch:

• Your child learns how to climb. Move your child out of the crib when the rail is up to the level of his nipples, since climbing out is more possible.

• Your child outgrows the crib. Don't assume it's time! You may think that he's uncomfortable, but he may be content in his little nest.

• Your child asks for a bed. If she's old enough, then go ahead and take the leap.

•Your child is learning how to use the toilet during the night. Even if your child uses the toilet during the day, it's often a long while before bedtime dryness happens.

• A new sibling is on the way. If your little one loves his crib, then ousting him to make room for the newcomer may add stress. If you feel that the time is right then make the change two months or more before your newborn arrives.

What kind of bed should my child move to? There are a number of options for a child's first bed:

• Toddler bed These are small, low, and child-sized. They have guard rails on all sides, and come in playful designs.

• Regular bed A common choice is a mattress, box springs, and bed frame (with all sides protected from fall-outs). Consider a double or bigger size to accommodate the night-reading ritual.

• Mattress on the floor A popular choice is a mattress or futon on the floor. This provides your little one with a big-kid bed, but one that prevents any painful falls.

• Bunk bed Hold off on a bunk bed until your child is 6 years old, when it is considered safe. How do we make the change? Which approach is best for you will depend on your reasons for making the change, your child's personality, and the size of his room. Here are a few options:

• Big-kid bed hoopla Some children enjoy having an official Big Kid Day party. Set up the bed, decorate the room, and add a few sleep-related gifts like books and stuffed animals.

• One-step-at-a-time Take the mattress out of the crib and place it on the floor in the same place as the crib was. This gives your child the same sleeping surface and view of the room as he's accustomed to. Place guard rails around the sides to create a crib-like enclosure. Keep the same bedding and crib toys. This is a mid-step between the crib and a real bed.

• The gradual introduction Set up the new bed in the same room with the crib. Allow your child to play on the bed and nap there. Do your bedtime reading in the new bed. This will help your child get used to the bed gradually.

Patience and encouragement No matter which path you choose —be patient. Big steps toward growth often happen in spurts, and your child may be excited to welcome the change one day, but wary of it the next. Maintain your nightly bedtime routine and help your child developa positive asso- ciationwith his new bed, since he'll be sleepingthere for many years to come.

Moving from Crib to Bed

When your child moves from crib to bed it's a milestone in his life as well as yours.There is no precise time for making this move, though typ- ically it's between the first and third birthday. The key to success is to be patient and allow your child time to adjust to the change. By Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Discipline Solution This article is a copyrighted excerpt from The No-Cry Sleep Solution (McGraw-Hill, 2007) www.pantley.com/elizabeth